Today, Heather and I have been married 13 years. Through that time, we lived in five (5) different cities, owned four (4) cars, raised three (3) 'precious' children, finished two post graduate degrees and shared (1) mostly happy life.
So what are my rules to a mostly happy marriage?
1. Never argue about the things that don't matter. Want to go out to a movie, spouse A wants to go see X, spouse B wants to go see Y but the important thing isn't the movie, is that you get to spend time together. Where you do it doesn't matter as much as the fact that you are getting to do it.
2. Learn to accept. I have learnt to accept that my lovely wife will never be a domestic goddess. She wasn't when I met her, she wasn't when we married and she will never become that way. Just like I will never be a social butterfly. If you didn't know your partner's flaws before marriage, you didn't take the time to really get to know them first. People are who they are and if you can't accept the other for who they are, you should not have got married to begin with.
3. Remember to love as a couple and live as a individual. Yes, you need time together but you also need time as an individual. It is important that you have couples things to do as well as some individual hobbies as well. It will help you come together but not become bored with one another.
4. Balance is key. Nothing is that bad, just as nothing is that good. Keeping on a even keel allows you to keep to the middle path and allows you to see things for what they really are. This approach helps to keep perspective and helps in problem solving.
5. Never listen to these advice columns because every couple is different. We all have different dynamics going on and what works for one couple may not work for another. These ideas are what works for us. I am not even sure Heather agrees with all of them. So take these ideas for what they are worth.
Wayne.
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