Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Tuesday Coffee Chat...Christmas Party Favorites

I love Leslie, this hop and her blog but I just couldn't get this topic to work.  First and foremost, I try to avoid Christmas parties like the plague.  Too jovial for my taste and since I do not drink, I can not even have a few to forget that I am there.  Though it is sometimes fascinating to watch otherwise logical people become fools through intoxication and the flurry of office gossip that as result of the actions of some at the festivities - though I can get the 'entertainment value' of said gossip without the pain of enduring the banality the evening.  By not being there.  By not showing up, I get to be the person who wasn't there that everyone excitedly rushes to tell their story too.  On second thought, perhaps I tell them to GO AWAY!  If I wanted to know what happened at the party, I would have attended.

I have also written about my touching phobia in the past.  I do not like to be touched in general.  If you are my wife and kids fine but anyone else...HANDS OFF! Christmas parties seem to make people think that they have permission to hug and kiss me.  Why not just give me a cup of germs for Christmas - it would be more appropriate. Speaking of silly gifts, what is the deal with host or hostess gifts?  I mean, I really want to buy someone a fruitcake, just to see their face when they politely accept it.  I mean, would it hurt my feelings if I wasn't invited back to something that I didn't want to go to in the first place?  Trust me, my real friends know not to invite me to said things.

Finally, Christmas parties suck because of their festive natures.  First, I have to look at a ton of people wearing red and green.  There is a reason why most people only wear red and green at Christmas.  That is because it makes most people look like a dork in those colors!  Further, anyone who wears a Christmas decoration on their person should be shot on site.  It does not make you look more festive, it makes you look like a drunken idiot.  BTW, I would like to speak/slap the ignoramus that hung mistletoe.  Beyond the no touching I discussed above, this creates the situation where I have to be fully aware of my surroundings.  I mean, I have to pay attention to decorations and such to avoid said locale where that plant from hell has been placed.  It is nauseating just thinking of it.

So thanks to Leslie for putting me in a terrible mood thinking about their painful experiences.  A bah-humbug to all and to all a huge hangover.  You deserve it!

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