Tuesday, September 7, 2010


In the mail today, I got a great offer from a bank. I was pre-approved for a credit card. At first I was excited, then I got to thinking. If I was pre-approved why do they need an application? Would they not already have my information to pre-approve me? I have already obviously gone through an approval process in order to be pre-approved. Should there not be just a reply card inside asking if I wanted the credit? My 'yes' or 'no' is all that the company should need if I was indeed pre-approved.

I then got to reading. In the little print (I am guessing about a four point font), it says that if I do not meet certain criterion that I will not be approved. How can this be? I was pre-approved? By its definition that meant that I was already approved at some point. This leads me to think that this may be some marketing ploy to attempt to get me to apply for their card. Would a major corporation ever tell a consumer a mis-truth?

I am guessing the corporate types believe that I am gullible. Perhaps they are right. I get several notices that I am pre-approved and the companies would not do it if it did not work at least occasionally. I am tempted to send back a notice saying that they were indeed pre-approved to receive my business, if they fill out the application. It would be a quick application that may look something like this:
  1. Name of Company:
  2. Name of CEO/CFO:
  3. Wage of CEO/CFO (incl all taxable benefits):
  4. Median Wage of Company Employee*:
  5. Hours of Service:
  6. Penalty to company if I have to wait on hold more than five minutes:
  7. Size of lettering if you are going to send me a notice in relation to changes in the service agreement (including price increases):
  8. What countries are you outsourcing to:
  9. Do you promise not to turn Habib into Mike with the strange idea that I will react better to an 'Americanized' name?: Yes or No
  10. Do you promise not to treat me like a piece of meat that you will drain all of the blood from only to discard me to rot when there is no more: Yes or No
I could go on but I think you get the point. I am indeed sorry, few companies will make it through my pre-approval process but perhaps if the credit card and mortgage companies showed my discretion, we may not be in the economic trouble we are in now.


Post Script: *- is the company CEO/CFO salary and taxable benefits are more than 20 times the median employees salary, I am sorry but you can not be pre-approved.

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